In this editing blog post we’ll give a definition of copy editing (also spelled copy-editing and copyediting) and use examples to show what a copy editor does to improve consistency throughout a document and prepare it for publication.

Definition of copy editing

As we wrote in a previous editing blog post, the Australian Style manual for authors editors and printers defines copy editing as follows:

The purpose of copy editing is to remove the mistakes, inconsistencies or other infelicities of expression that could irritate of confuse readers—or embarrass the author. At the copy editing stage, the editor therefore concentrates on the details of language, spelling and punctuation; on achieving consistency of style and layout; and on checking references, illustrations tables, headings, sequences, links, and preliminary matter and end matter.

Scope of copy editing

The Style manual broadly defines copy editing tasks in four areas: language, consistency, references and functionality.

Copy editing language

When copy editing language, the copy editor will find and correct errors of grammar, spelling and punctuation. In addition, the copy editor will look for clarity of meaning. In some instances, the copy editor might feel that the work needs substantive editing or should be sent back to the author for rewriting.

Copy editing for language consistency

Copy editing for language consistency requires more than knowledge of grammar, spelling and punctuation. The copy editor needs to ensure the publication is consistent throughout. Copy editing for consistency covers aspects such as terminology, spelling, capitalisation, hyphenation, shortened forms and quantitative information.

Let’s look at some of these.

There are quite a few words can be spelt two or more ways correctly. If we were publishing an article about copy editing, for example, we would want to use the same spelling (copy editing) throughout. Depending on the dictionary you use, the term can also be spelt copy-editing and copyediting. Another example is online, which can also be spelt on-line.

One of the tasks of a copy editor is to choose which spelling to use and make it consistent throughout the document. Some organisations will have a style sheet that shows the preferred spelling of common words. Publishing houses and universities usually have a preferred dictionary (such as Macquarie or Oxford in Australia) that should be used when choosing between alternate spellings.

Copy editing for consistency covers the small details (that many writers don’t think about) such as dashes. For example, the Style manual for authors, editors and printers suggest that em dashes (long dashes such as this —) be used as follows to set apart an explanatory phrase in a sentence.

National policies may change the decision-making environment—water licensing reform is an example—or provide guidance on suitable areas for government investment.

These and other types of dashes are often used incorrectly and inconsistently throughout documents. Copy editors find examples such as the following that need to be corrected.

National policies may change the decision-making environment - water licensing reform is an example - or provide guidance on suitable areas for government investment.

National policies may change the decision-making environment – water licensing reform is an example – or provide guidance on suitable areas for government investment.

Abbreviated forms often require correction for consistency during copy editing.

For example, in one section of a document the abbreviation of information technology, I.T., might include full stops (called periods in the USA), while in another IT doesn’t have full stops.

Many consistency issues are the result of collaborative efforts when different people or departments contribute to different parts of a publication. One person prefers to write IT, while another prefers I.T.

One way to prevent this problem—and make copy editing easier and less expensive— is to have a house style guide (also called a style sheet) that lists the preferred ways of spelling and abbreviating. You can also spell out general rules, such as ‘Abbreviations should not include full stops’.

Numbers are another factor that a copy editor needs to look at when copy editing. Do you spell out numbers as words or do you use numerals? The Australian Style Manual recommends using words for the numbers one through one-hundred and writing higher numbers as numerals (when the document is not statistically oriented).

Bulleted lists are one potentially confusing element that an editor will correct to make consistent throughout a publication. Do you capitalise each bulleted point? Do you put a full stop or semi-colon at the end of each one? A copy editor will know the correct styles and apply them throughout the document (for more information on formatting bulleted lists see Editing and Proofreading: Bulleted Lists).

Copy editing for language and consistency is a time-consuming process. Besides checking and correcting spelling, punctuation and grammar, the copy editor needs to look for consistency throughout the document. A few of the elements that are checked for consistency during the copy editing process are spelling, dashes, abbreviations, numbers and bulleted lists.

When calling on the services of a freelance copy editor, it’s important to remember that copy editing requires more than checking for the basic mistakes. The time and cost estimates you receive for copy editing services might seem high, but there is much more to the process than meets the eye. Also, it doesn’t pay to cut corners by sending your work offshore (such as to India or the Philippines) for editing. It’s unlikely that offshore editors will understand the style conventions used in your country, whether you’re in Australia, the UK or the USA.

Here are a few quotations about editors that might answer these questions. You probably will recognise some of the well-known writers who have offered their opinions on editors—some positive, some not.

A good editor understands what you’re talking and writing about and doesn’t meddle too much.

Irwin Shaw

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

Ring Lardner

A good novel editor is invisible.

Terri Windling

A literary journal is intended to connect writer with reader; the role of the editor is to mediate.

John Barton

A very good editor is almost a collaborator.

Ken Follett

Always point your finger at the chest of the person with whom you are being.  An editor becomes kind of your mother. You expect love and encouragement from an editor.

Jackie Kennedy

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

Adlai E. Stevenson

And that’s another piece of advice I’ll give junior writers; when you get to the point where they take you to lunch, let the editor suggest where to go.

Jerry Pournelle

Anyone nit-picking enough to write a letter of correction to an editor doubtless deserves the error that provoked it.

Alvin Toffler

Book writing is a little different because, in my case, my editor is a year younger than me and basically has the same sensibility as me.

Chuck Klosterman

But for me, being an editor I’ve been an editor of all kinds of books being an editor of poetry has been the way in which I could give a crucial part of my time to what I love most.

Peter Davison

Dealing with poetry is a daunting task, simply because the reason one does it as an editor at all is because one is constantly coming to terms with one’s own understanding of how to understand the world.

Peter Davison

Dullness is the only crime for which an editor ought to be hung.

Josephus Daniels

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

Elbert Hubbard

I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it’s based on is whether it’s good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and trying to rewrite it.

Chuck Klosterman

I remember when an editor at the National Geographic promised to run about a dozen of my landscape pictures from a story on the John Muir trail as an essay, but when the group of editors got together, someone said that my pictures looked like postcards.

Galen Rowell

I was surprised that my wife thought it was a good idea, then again with my agent, another woman, then my editor, another woman – in spite of the fact that all three of them reacted positively I still have this fear.

Michael Chabon

 I’m a writer first and an editor second… or maybe third or even fourth. Successful editing requires a very specific set of skills, and I don’t claim to have all of them at my command.

Lynn Abbey

If every editor turns you down, maybe you should take a second look at your text, however, just in case.

Piers Anthony

It is also one of the pleasures of oral biography, in that the reader, rather than editor, is jury.

George Plimpton

My only claim to fame, if I have one, is that I’m an editor.

Woody Herman

Not too many people know who the editor is.

Julius Schwartz

Publishing your work is important. Even if you are giving a piece to some smaller publication for free, you will learn something about your writing. The editor will say something, friends will mention it. You will learn.

Tim Cahill

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

T.S. Eliot quotes (American born English Editor, Playwright, Poet and Critic, 1888-1965)

SYCOPHANT, n. One who approaches Greatness on his belly so that he may not be commanded to turn and be kicked. He is sometimes an editor.

Ambrose Bierce

An editor should tell the author his writing is better than it is. Not a lot better, a little better.

T.S. Eliot (American born English Editor, Playwright, Poet and Critic, 1888-1965)

How often we recall, with regret, that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good.

Mark Twain  (American Humorist, Writer and Lecturer. 1835-1910)

I know many journalists who would like to comment on the deep structure of their profession and its suck-up to advertisers, not to mention the dominant social order. But their editors won’t let them.

Richard Goldstein

Writers take words seriously-perhaps the last professional class that does-and they struggle to steer their own through the crosswinds of meddling editors and careless typesetters and obtuse and malevolent reviewers into the lap of the ideal reader.

John Updike (American writer, b.1932)

Editors are constantly on the watch to discover new talents in old names.

Israel Zangwill (English Writer, 1864-1926)

Let’s look at a few examples of unruly sentences and see how we can improve them by editing.

The following sentence is 28 words long.

Selling is both an art and a science, and thinking that sales success will happen overnight is a common cause of cash flow problems for the small business.

It’s not too long, and it can easily be divided into two sentences to improve readability.

Selling is both an art and a science. Thinking that sales success will happen overnight is a common cause of cash flow problems for the small business.

The next sentence is 46 words long.

Small business competes with big business, and whilst small businesses may not be able to offer regular promotions or share options, they may be able to offer other attractive benefits such as a friendlier work environment, more flexibility, greater responsibility, a parking space or family-oriented policies.

By cutting this sentence into three sentences, we reduce the average length to 15 words and increase readability.

Small business competes with big business. Whilst small businesses may not be able to offer regular promotions or share options, they may be able to offer other attractive benefits. These might include a friendlier work environment, more flexibility, greater responsibility, a parking space or family-oriented policies.

On the Flesch Reading Ease Scale (explained in an earlier post, How to Improve the Readability of Your Business Writing) the 46-word sentence above has a readability of 0 out of 100, while the edited version has a readability of 24 out of 100 (with 100 being the most readable).

Generally, when you see many conjunctions (such as and, but, yet, or, so) it’s a good clue that sentences might be too long. In many cases you can end a sentence and begin a new one where you find one of these conjunctions.

One common error we see when editing business writing is the use of the conjunctive adverb however to splice two sentences together.

For example:

I have completed the proposal, however I have not submitted it.  (incorrect)

I have completed the proposal. However, I have not submitted it.  (correct)

I have completed the proposal; however, I have not submitted it.  (correct)

Avoiding long sentences is also important when writing promotional copy.

Try reading the following 53-word sentence.

Drawing back on our years of experience in consulting to businesses in array of issues, from ISO 9001 to business design and strategy, we developed a unique methodology that offers you a real quality solution for your ISO needs, without the expensive price tag that is usually attached to quality ISO 9001 systems.

With a little editing we can divide it into two sentences with an average length of 21.5 words per sentence.

We have drawn on extensive consulting experience ─ from ISO 9001 to business design and strategy ─ to develop a unique methodology that offers a quality solution to your ISO needs. We provide this without the typical high cost of quality ISO 9001 systems.

We also reduced the text by 10 words (from 53 to 43) without losing any meaning.

When using Microsoft Word, you can quickly determine the average sentence length of your business writing.

Take the following steps to show the readability statistics, which include average sentence length, at the end of the Spelling and Grammar check.

In Word 2007:

1. Click the Microsoft Office Button , and then click Word Options.
2. Click Proofing.
3. Make sure Check grammar with spelling is selected.
4. Under When correcting grammar in Word, select the Show readability statistics check box.

 In Word 2003:

1. On the Tools menu, click Options, and then click the Spelling & Grammar tab.
2. Select the Check grammar with spelling check box.
3. Select the Show readability statistics check box, and then click OK.
4. On the Standard toolbar, click Spelling and Grammar .

The speech opening is where you have the best chance to build a bridge of understanding between you and your audience. But how do you connect with a new audience when delivering a speech?

In The Lost Art of  the Great Speech, Richard Dowis describes what he calls reference opening to establish common ground between the speaker and the audience. When using a reference opening, the speaker usually makes reference to the speech, the group, the event or something related to one of these.

Some of the possible references you can use are the date, the location, the weather, the organisation you are delivering your speech to, a historical event, a current event, the topic, and the speech title.

Dowis shows how one executive speaking at a forum sponsored by the JC Penney Company, a US department store chain, used a reference opening in his speech.

I’m honoured to have been invited to represent the credit-reporting industry in this discussion of consumer credit. At the outset, I want to commend the JC Penney organisation for its sponsorship of this forum. I can recall many years ago reading about the late JC Penney. He was a dynamic man whose success in building one of the great retail enterprises of all time is testimony to the enormous potential of a free economic system. Mr Penney was also a man whose concern for people and society was apparent throughout his long and productive life.

Another example of a reference opening is found in 50 High Impact Speeches and Remarks by Michael Kador. He shows how Michael Askew, Vice Chairman of United Parcel Service, used a reference opening when he spoke at the Annual Meeting of the Air & Waste Management Association.

It is truly an honour to be addressing an organisation that has done so much to further our understanding of the environment. And you’ve done so in a way that promotes working cooperation among businesses, governments and communities.

What I find most impressive is that you’ve been doing this for 92 years. You don’t stick around 92 years unless you’re doing something right. We’re very aware of that at UPS.

In fact, the Air & Waste Management Association and UPS probably have more in common than you might think. For starters, we each were both founded way back in 1907 at a time when most environmental philosophies governing business and society were fledgling, at best.

This opening highlights what the speaker’s company has in common with the organisation he is addressing. It was a fortunate coincidence that both were founded in the same year, but you can usually find some point that connects you, or your organisation, to the audience.

As mentioned, location can be the basis for a reference opening. The following example from Dowis shows how an executive based in Atlanta used a location reference to connect with his audience in Chicago.

It’s good to be here in the company of such distinguished men and women in the great city of Chicago. Back in Atlanta, we refer to Chicago as the ‘other city the works.’ Chicago and Atlanta do have a great deal in common, quite apart from being the economic and cultural capitals of their respective regions of the country. Atlanta was burned in 1864 by a Yankee general named Sherman; Chicago was burned in 1871 by Mrs O’Leary’s cow.

Dowis also shows how to use literary references in a speech opening to connect with the speech topic. An executive of a forest products company used a literary reference when speaking to the company’s shareholders.

Dr Pangloss, a character in Voltaire’s Candide, was fond of the statement: “All’s for the best in the best of all possible worlds.”

Well, in the field of for-sale residential construction, in finance, and in many other areas for which I have responsibility, we are close to, if not in, the best of all possible worlds.

If you’re having trouble finding a reference opening to help you connect with your audience, you can always try using the date of your presentation as a reference. Sites such as Today-In-History (http://www.scopesys.com/anyday/) list important events, births and deaths that occurred on each day of the year. You might be able to find an event that is relevant to your speech topic or audience in some way.

The options for creating an effective reference opening are as boundless as your imagination and creativity. Writing an effective reference opening requires thought, planning and research. The effort spent, however, will help you get your messages across to receptive and attentive audiences.

It depends on your products and the type of buyers you’re targeting.

One helpful guide I have used over the years is How to Write Powerful Catalog Copy by Herschell Gordon Lewis. In the book, Lewis defines the fourteen main catalogue copywriting styles, and when it’s best to use each one.

Although the book was published twenty years ago, the ideas presented are just as applicable today.

Lewis defines the fourteen copywriting styles as:

1. Jes Folk
2. Down Home Personality
3. You-You-You
4. Shout
5. Quietly Upscale
6. Image All The Way
7. Touchstone
8. Narrative
9. Minimalist
10. All The Facts
11. Informational Educational
12. Snob Appeal
13. I Am The Greatest
14. Plain Vanilla

Lewis uses a fictitious Tex-Mex salsa product to show the 14 catalogue copywriting styles.

Jes Folk Copy

Although the Jes Folk copywriting style is easy to read and entertaining, Lewis warns that readers can get tired of it after a few pages.

I went all the way down to Matamoros to sample this ‘Tex-Mex’ salsa, and danged if it isn’t  hotter than an El Paso afternoon. We don’t call it “Hell-Fire” Sauce for nothin’, and it if don’t give your tastebuds a pretty strong bite, you got us beat before we start.

Down Home Copy

Lewis notes that this style of copywriting makes readers feel that they are being addressed directly, but it might be difficult to come up with interesting stories for all products in a catalogue.

My aunt Maria vacationed in Mexico and was so excited she phoned me. “I’ve found the hottest ‘Tex-Mex’ salsa I’ve ever tasted,” she said. “It’s wonderful. I bought a case, and I think you ought to have it in the catalog.” Aunt Maria isn’t often wrong, so we made an exclusive arrangement with the small Mexican company that makes “Hell-Fire” Sauce. If you’re brave…or if you love real Mexican sauce…you have to get some.

You-You-You Copy

This style of copywriting, which addresses the reader by repeating the word ‘you’, is promoted in many copywriting books. Lewis believes it can work in catalogues but becomes repetitive if you have many items to sell.

You think you’ve tasted hot pepper salsa? Oh, no, you haven’t. That is, you haven’t tasted the real salsa until you’ve dipped a spoon into our “Hell-Fire” Sauce and sprinkled a little on your salad. Your tongue will tell you: You never knew a hot sauce could be this good.

Shout Copy

Shout copy is the easiest to write (and requires many exclamation marks).

A Hell-Fire Deal on “Hell-Fire” Salsa! 14-ounce bottle, $2.49!

Quietly Upscale Descriptive Copy

According to Lewis, this style of copywriting was popular during the early 1980s when baby boomer yuppies, its main targets, were past their status-seeking phase.

For your next party, this unusually hot sauce with the unusually hot name can be the evening’s hottest topic of conversation.

“Hell-Fire” isn’t for everybody. In fact, we don’t recommend its daily use, because it makes every other sauce seem so tame…

Image All the Way Copy

This style of copywriting ties a known person or place with your offering, and is less subtle than Quietly Upscale Descriptive copy.

If JP Morgan and John D Rockefeller came to your home, they’d know whether to stay for the authentic Mexican dinner you’ve prepared. “Hell-Fire” on the table means genuine “Tex-Mex” on the palate.

Touchstone Copy

When copywriting using the Touchstone style, you connect your product to a known base, called a touchstone.

In 1912 the Mexican bandit and folk hero Pancho Villa escaped to the United States. After his triumphant return in 1913 he formed the famous Division del Norte. One of the prizes he brought across the border was a recipe unlike any tasted before: “Hell-Fire.” When Villa became governor of the state of Chihuahua, he served this unique hot sauce to special guests at his dinner table. Now you can serve it to your special guests.

Minimalist Copy

This style of copywriting works well when you have limited space, such as a digest style catalogue.

Famous “Hell-Fire” Salsa–the very hottest. 14-oz. bottle, $2.49.

All the Facts Copy

Lewis writes that this style of copywriting is based on two assumptions: 1) The more the reader knows, the more likely they are to buy your products. 2) The more you tell, the more the reader will believe you. All the Facts copy is well-suited to business-to-business catalogues and websites, because business buying decisions tend to be more logic based, and the buyer usually needs to justify the decision to another person in the organisation.

“Hell-Fire” Salsa–Bottled in limited quantities in Matamoros, this authentic “Tex-Mex” salsa combines red peppers, jalapenos, green chilli peppers, peeled and chopped beefsteak tomatoes, scallions, and a touch of cilantro. Our peppers are transplanted from their original site in French Guiana to a private orchard outside Matamoros, where parallel climate ripens them to produce the hot capsicum extract. Our master chef Pablo grinds the pepper to a fine powder. Soaks them in brine to “loosen” the flavour, then marries them to the tomatoes in our special sharp vinegar.

This copywriting style might be most suitable for this product if you are selling to chefs and food connoisseurs.

Informational/Educational Copy

Although this copywriting style might not lend itself well to the sample product of salsa, it can work well for products such as software, garden supplies, electronics, and chemicals.

Cilantro is the fresh leaf of the coriander plant. This delicate fragrant-pungent leaf is one of the oldest spices known to man. When the Romans used finely chopped cilantro to season their bread, the spices had been known for thousands of years. Each 14 oz. bottle of “Hell-Fire” salsa includes both cilantro and…

Snob Appeal Copy

According to Lewis, the style of copywriting works when snobbery is in vogue. The copy, layout and illustration need to match perfectly for Snob Appeal copy to work.

Only 1,200 bottles…ever, this entire year. Our exclusive “Hell-Fire” Salsa is made from such rare herbs, under such rigidly controlled conditions, that only 1,200 bottles will be available this year. We must limit any purchase to two bottles (subject to availability, of course). Each numbered bottle carries the Seal of Elegance. Handsomely gift boxed for your favorite gourmet who cannot obtain this elsewhere. 14 ounces, twenty-nine dollars.

I Am the Greatest Copy

This copywriting style speaks for itself. Those who believe it’s the best product will buy, and the rest probably won’t. The challenge is answering the question: Better than what? Discerning buyers want proof that it’s better.

The Best Salsa. In comparisons tests, our Kitchen Board rated this salsa superior in consistency, palatability, and flavor. Unlike other sauces tested, “Hell-Fire” contains genuine tomatoes and fresh spices, producing a greater degree of effectiveness, when applied to both tortillas and salads. $2.49, unconditionally guaranteed.

Plain Vanilla Copy

This copywriting style might be the right choice if you want to keep it simple and give your readers a break from too much text. Lewis recommends it for multi-product catalogues of household staples.

“Hell-Fire” Hot Salsa–14 oz. bottle. Ingredients: red peppers, jalapenos, green chilli peppers, beefsteak tomatoes, scallions, cilantro. $2.49.

Choosing the right copywriting style for your catalogue or website will depend a number of factors including your industry, products and market. Lewis notes that readers can get bored with one copywriting style if it’s overused. For catalogues, he recommends breaking the catalogue into themed sections and using one style in each section. Although How to Write Powerful Catalog Copy was written before the widespread use of the Internet, you can apply this advice to ecommerce websites as well.

Note: How to Write Powerful Catalog Copy is no longer in print but can be purchased from used book websites such as  Alibris and Abebooks.

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When faced with the prospect of writing a proposal to win business, do you think of a thousand other things you would rather be doing?

Writing a business proposal isn’t as bad as it seems when you understand the elements needed for an effective proposal.

Each business proposal will have different requirements, depending on the project, industry and the information sought by the company requesting the proposal.

Understanding the elements that are found in most business proposals will give you a confidence the next time you need to write a business proposal.

Executive summary of a business proposal

The executive summary outlines the main points you will cover in more detail in the body of the business proposal. This is an important part of the business proposal because busy decision makers might not have time to read the full proposal and will rely on the executive summary when making a decision. In many situations, you’ll want to write the executive summary first ─ it can serve as your outline while helping you determine the most important information to include in your business proposal.

The current situation

One way to begin this section of the business proposal is to explain the customer’s problem and how you plan to solve it. Doing the research to gain an understanding of their challenge shows that you are truly concerned and have their best interests at heart. Closely analysing their needs will also help you come up with the best solution.

Products and/or services offered in a business proposal

This is where you detail what you plan to supply under the proposal. You can cover a number of areas including:

• benefits –  Will your solution save time, save money, increase safety, increase sales?
• delivery – How will your product or service be delivered, implemented and followed up?
• quality assurance – What quality control measures are in place – recruitment procedures, training, safety procedures, product warranties?
• timeframe – When will services or products be delivered? What are the milestone dates for long-term projects?
• approach – How do you plan to deliver your services or products? Why should the customer choose you instead of competitors? What makes you different?

The company and personnel section of a business proposal

In this section of the business proposal you highlight your company’s history, abilities and achievements. Include descriptions of the key people who will be involved in delivering the product or service. If it’s a large project with many team members, include an organisational chart showing the management structure. Explain how each person’s training and experience will be applied to create the outcome the customer wants.

You might include case studies in the business proposal that show successes with similar projects in the past. If possible, show tangible results of your product or service – for example, “Our safety products and system design reduced workplace accidents by 25 per cent”.

Costs in your business proposal

This section of the business proposal will vary depending on the type of contract you are bidding on. When supplying products, your price may be a fixed amount. For bidding to supply services, the pricing in your business proposal might be based on cost-plus, materials and labour, cost-reimbursement, or some other method. Whatever pricing structure you use, it’s important to provide detail of costs and budgets by breaking these down.

Covering all bases

Regardless of how you decide to organise and format your business proposal, it’s essential to cover all the information requested by your potential customer. If you receive a request for proposal document, be sure that you address all the points in it. If you have been asked to submit a less formal proposal, ask questions to determine what the client is looking for when choosing a supplier.

Feel confident writing a business proposal

Understanding the elements outlined here and keeping the customer’s needs and concerns in mind will increase your chances of success when submitting a business proposal. It will also help you overcome fear and procrastination the next time you are called upon to write a business proposal.

What is Rhetoric?

Rhetoric is the study of writing or speaking as a means of communication or persuasion. In the Western world, rhetoric originated with the Ancient Greeks who defined and developed the techniques that are used to this day.

Let’s look at a few important rhetorical techniques and how they can be applied in speechwriting to express messages clearly and effectively.

 Rule of Three

One of the most common and effective rhetorical devices is called the rule of three, or triad.

When using the rule of three, you include three equal elements in a sentence or series of sentences. Here are a few examples.

Veni, vidi, vici. (I came, I saw, I conquered.)

Julius Caesar

Government of the people. . .by the people. . .for the people. . . shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln

 I see one-third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished.

 Franklin D Roosevelt

Barack Obama often uses the rule of three in his speeches.

That’s what Abraham Lincoln understood. He had his doubts. He had his defeats. He had his setbacks.

Barack Obama

Our security emanates from the justness of our cause; the force of our example; the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

Barack Obama

The rule of three can also be applied on a larger scale in speeches. For example, you can reveal three interesting facts, tell three anecdotes in succession, or ask three questions in a row.

Anaphora

Anaphora is the technique of emphasising words by repeating them at the beginning of adjacent clauses or sentences.  

In one of the most memorable political speeches from World War II, Winston Churchill used anaphora with great effect.

We shall go on to the end,

we shall fight in France,

we shall fight on the seas and oceans,

we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air,

we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be,

we shall fight on the beaches,

we shall fight on the landing grounds,

we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,

we shall fight in the hills;

we shall never surrender…

 Hillary Clinton used anaphora in her speech to the US Democratic National Convention in 1996.

To raise a happy, healthy, and hopeful child, it takes a family; it takes teachers; it takes clergy; it takes business people; it takes community leaders; it takes those who protect our health and safety. It takes all of us.

To writers and editors unfamiliar with rhetoric, this sentence would seem wordy. For a written format they might edit this sentence to read:

To raise a happy, healthy, and hopeful child, it takes a family, teachers, clergy, business people, community leaders, and those who protect our health and safety. It takes all of us.

But the repetition plays an important role. Repeating  ‘it takes’ emphasises individual points and gives listeners time to reflect on each one.

 Paul Keating used anaphora in his Redfern Address of 1993

Imagine if ours was the oldest culture in the world and we were told that it was worthless.

Imagine if we had resisted this settlement, suffered and died in the defence of our land, and then were told in history books that we had given up without a fight.

Imagine if non-Aboriginal Australians had served their country in peace and war and were then ignored in history books.

Imagine if our feats on sporting fields had inspired admiration and patriotism and yet did nothing to diminish prejudice.

Imagine if our spiritual life was denied and ridiculed.

Imagine if we had suffered the injustice and then were blamed for it.

Barack Obama uses anaphora to persuade and motivate his listeners. This example is from the speech where he announced his presidential candidacy in 2007.

Let us be the generation that reshapes our economy to compete in the digital age. Let’s set high standards for our schools and give them the resources they need to succeed. Let’s recruit a new army of teachers, and give them better pay and more support in exchange for more accountability. Let’s make college more affordable, let’s invest in scientific research, and let’s lay down broadband lines through the heart of inner cities and rural towns all across America.

It has been said that Australian audiences prefer a simpler approach and are cynical towards rhetorical language. Kevin Rudd expressed this sentiment when he said, ‘By way of personal instinct, I have an inherent distaste for grandiose rhetorical statements, which don’t have any substantive dimension to them’.

But rhetorical techniques are found in many speeches by Australian political and business leaders. Kevin Rudd’s apology speech to the Stolen Generations, which was delivered in Parliament in February 2008, included several of these.

In the beginning of the speech, he used epistrophe (also called antistrophe). This is when a word or phrase is repeated at the end of each sentence or clause.

For the pain, suffering and hurt of these Stolen Generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.

To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.

And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.

Prime Minister Rudd used anaphora to conclude the speech.

A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.

A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.

A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.

 A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.

A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.

Antithesis, Simile, Metaphor and Analogy

Antithesis is when contrasting ideas are juxtaposed in a sentence.

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.

John F Kennedy

If we are going to make the investments we need, we also have to be willing to shed the spending that we don’t need.

Barack Obama

A simile is when you compare things that share at least one attribute. Similes usually include the words ‘like’ or ‘as’.

Education is like a diamond with many facets.

Ronald Reagan

Life is like an onion: You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Carl Sandburg

A metaphor compares one thing to another, but describes the thing being compared as if it were the other.

With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of a nation into the beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

Martin Luther King

Nationalism is both a vital medicine and a dangerous drug.

Geoffrey Blainey

An analogy is an extended metaphor or long simile.

Politicians are a lot like diapers; you should change them frequently and for the same reason. Keep that in mind next time you vote.

Robin Williams in Man of the Year

Analogies can be helpful when explaining complex ideas or technical processes in a speech. An executive with an Australian IT company used the following analogy to explain a challenging project.

Updating the telecommunications software was like changing an engine on a 767 jet at 37,000 feet. We were changing one of the engines and needed to ensure that the plane kept running and didn’t fly around in circles.

Rhetorical techniques such as the rule of three, anaphora, epistrophe, simile and metaphor have been used in speechwriting for over two thousand years. Besides engaging audience members, they can make interesting ‘sound bites’ that are more likely to be quoted in the media and remembered.

Although rhetoric is an ancient way to persuade through language, it is equally relevant today. Speechwriters who understand rhetoric and how to apply it skilfully can enhance the credibility of leaders while making their messages more memorable.

Note: This article originally appeared in the Resources section of the Public Relations Institute of Australia (PRIA) website.

Advertising pioneer and innovator David Ogilvy believed that reverse type should not be used. In Ogilvy on Advertising he wrote, ‘Advertising agencies waste their clients’ money repeating the same mistakes. I recently counted 49 advertisements set in reverse type in one issue of a magazine, long years after research demonstrated that reverse type is difficult to read.’

Robert Bly, copywriting authority and author of The Copywriter’s Handbook, agreed with Ogilvy when he wrote, ‘Never do anything to make the copy difficult to read. Type should be set in black against a clear white background – not a tint, not white on black, not in color.’

Ogilvy’s and Bly’s opinions on reverse type are supported by research. Colin Wheildon, editor of an Australian motoring magazine, tested the assertion that reverse type is difficult to read and lowers comprehension. He published his findings in Type & Layout: how typography and design can get your message across – or get in the way.

 Here are Wheildon’s results that show how much reverse type can lower comprehension.

 Colour combination           Comprehension  (percentage of readers)

                                                                                   Good              Fair                 Poor

Text printed black on white                                      70                    19                    11

Text printed white on black                                      0                      12                    88

Text printed white on purple                                    2                      16                    82

Text printed white on royal blue                              0                      4                      96

From these results you can see that reverse type lowers comprehension levels of  text – so if you want readers to understand your message, don’t use reverse type for large amounts of text.

 Another test conducted by Williams Sonoma, a major US gourmet food and cookware catalogue, found that its sales increased by 33 per cent after simply switching the type in one catalogue from reverse to black text on a white background.

After listening to the experts and reviewing the research, it is clear that it’s best to not use reverse type in your printed publications and websites. Although it might look stylish, it decreases the effectiveness of your copywriting.

Editing is an essential step in developing effective business documents. Besides correcting grammatical, spelling and punctuation errors, editing can make your writing easier to understand and more persuasive. Here are a few simple editing tips that can help you make your business writing more clear and effective.

1. Replace complicated and long words and phrases with simple ones. Simple words often convey the same meaning as complicated ones, but require less space and are easier to read. For example, you can change ‘facilitate’ to ‘help’; ‘operate’ to ‘use’; and ‘substantiate’ to ‘prove’. Replacing wordy phrases with single words will make your writing more readable and efficient. For instance, replace ‘on a regular basis’ with ‘regularly’ and ‘at this point in time’ with ‘now’.

 2. Edit your business writing to replace passive voice with active voice. For example, change ‘Innovative products and services are offered by our company’ to ‘Our company offers innovative products and services’. Using active voice requires fewer words and is more direct.

 3. Break up long sentences into shorter ones. Research has shown that comprehension goes down when sentences are too long, so aim for an average sentence length of 20 words or fewer. Sentences over 35 words in length should be broken into two sentences, if possible, when editing.

 4. Create a conversational tone by using the personal pronouns ‘you’ and ‘we’. This is important when you want to connect with your customers and be perceived as approachable. For example, change ‘Advice can be obtained from our customer service department’ to ‘You can get advice from our customer service department’.

 When editing business writing that is meant to persuade your readers, change ‘our clients’ to ‘you’. For example, ‘We offer you a comprehensive range of programs and services’ sounds conversational, while ‘We offer our clients a comprehensive range of programs and services’ does not.

 Another way to make your writing more conversational and friendly is by writing ‘we’ instead of repeating your company name throughout the document.

 5. Remove clichés. These overused phrases have lost their meanings and waste space. Examples of common clichés include phrases such as ‘at the end of the day’, ‘for all intents and purposes’ and ‘as safe as houses’.

 6. Avoid using business and technical jargon. Like clichés, many of these terms are overused and have vague meanings. Corporate jargon includes words such as actionable, best practice, buy-in, drive (as in ‘drive sales’), incentivise, operationalise, repurpose and value proposition. When editing, think about your readers and replace words they won’t understand with common terms.

 7. Read the first draft out loud to judge how it sounds. Is it complicated, wordy or pompous? Rewrite it to make it more human and less robotic.

 Editing is an important step in business writing. By applying the editing tips outlined here, you can improve your business writing and communicate more effectively.

Guest post by  Darren Pearce, B. EC MBA

A business plan is critical to achieving consistent growth in any organisation. Unfortunately, most small to medium businesses don’t have a business plan. Even if they do have a business plan it usually isn’t up to date and it isn’t clearly communicated to the staff, on whose shoulders the successful execution of the business plan rests.

Business Plans are Essential for Growth

In order to go from being a small business with small profits to a larger business with larger profits you need to do the things large successful businesses do. All businesses should be sale-ready, even if the owner does not intend to sell. A sale-ready business means your investment is liquid and does not require you to be there in order to work. This kind of business is valuable asset, creating additional wealth for the owner.

Jim Rohn, one of the most famous business philosophers of our time, says, “If you want to turn your business around then don’t start a day until you’ve finished it on paper. If you want to be really successful then don’t start a week until you’ve finished on paper. If you want to be a star then don’t start your month before it’s finished on paper. If you want to retire rich and happy in record time, then don’t start your year until you’ve finished it on paper.” This is some great advice from an extraordinary businessman.

Why Writing a Business Plan is Important

It’s not so much the act of writing a business plan that is important, it’s the detailed analysis of one’s business which has the be undertaken that is the vital ingredient to success. Writing a business plan requires you to review and think clearly about the way you do business, forcing you to focus on the areas of your business that greatly need improvement and make you fix them. This reignites your passion and energy for what you’re doing. An up-to-date business plan is the passport to secure additional funding, from lenders or investors.

There are as many different opinions on how to write a business plan as there are business owners who don’t use one to control their business. Business plans differ between organisations but the principles of planning remain the same. Factors that will affect the content and style of the a typical business plan include:

·          who the business plan is being prepared for

·          type of business

·          size of business

·          reason the business plan is being prepared

·          time available for writing the business plan.

Business Plan Structure

Here is a basic structure that all business plans should include:

·          Cover Sheet: Including name, address, principal contact, phone no, and date the plan was written

·          Table of Contents

·          Executive Summary: Briefly outlining key content of the plan

·          Business Overview: Including a brief description of how, when, and by whom the organisation was started. The business overview should also include the organisation’s key achievements, setbacks, current status, and a mission statement which clearly and concisely states where your business is headed and what you hope to achieve.

·          Products and Services: Describing the need for the products/services in today’s marketplace, how they will make a difference, the benefits derived from using them, and detail any exclusivity or uniqueness.

·          Market Description and Analysis

o         Customer profile: Describing who is your target market, where they are located, and the market size.

o         Industry profile: Discuss relevant trends past, present, and the future, including data on past and current sales, and future sales growth forecasts, so you can demonstrate your business is viable in the long term.

o         Competitive profile: Compare and stress the advantages your business has over the competition including; price, quality, service, promotional strategies, and distribution.

·          SWOT Analysis: Outline the key:

o         Strengths that can be built upon

o         Weaknesses that can be strengthened

o         Opportunities that can be capitalised upon

o         Threats that can be reduced

·          Marketing Plan: Specifying the organisation goals, how they are to be achieved, and planned marketing strategies

·          Operations Plan: Disclose present operational capacity and capabilities, as well as future staffing, equipment, and facility requirements. Substantiate any licensing or patent advantages the business has, and any future research and development plans.

·          Financial Plan: Include financial projections with key financial performance indicators if you’re preparing the plan for financing.

·          Appendix: Provide a glossary of all key pieces of documented evidence

Writing a business plan does require  a considerable amount of time and effort. The long term rewards, however, well outweigh the investment of business resources. There are plenty of aids, such as business plan templates, that can assist you to accelerate business plan writing process. Remember…failing to plan is planning to fail!

About the author:

Darren Pearce, the founder of Fresh Start Initiatives, has worked in various sales, marketing and managerial roles for some of Australia’s largest corporations including Woolworths and Coca-Cola Amatil. His most recent roles were in sales and account management within the tax and legal publishing industry, handling corporate client portfolios worth several million dollars.

Since founding Fresh Start Initiatives in 2003 Darren has personally helped improve results for over 70 businesses in a variety of industries including construction, manufacturing, hospitality, retail, transport, business and professional services.

Darren holds a Bachelor of Economics Degree from Monash University, post graduate qualifications in Accountancy, and a Master of Business Administration from Macquarie University in Sydney. He also holds formal accreditation in Workplace Training and Assessment

For questions about business plans and business plan templates, you can leave a message for Darren on the Contact page.